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Platinum Rule Provides Value to Others

by Ron Kurtus (updated 13 March 2023)

The Golden Rule says: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." It is a good philosophy, but it also implies that others want the same thing you want.

A better concept is what is called the Platinum Rule™: "Do unto others as they would do unto themselves."

Questions you may have include:

This lesson will answer those questions.



Golden Rule

The Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" is valid in many situations. For example, if you don't like to be interrupted, don't interrupt other people.

The Rule really concerns realizing that if you don't like something to happen to you, other people probably also would not like it happening to them either. It is being considerate of other peoples' feelings.

Rule breaks down

But in the area of trying to please people by offering them something of interest or value, the Golden Rule often breaks down. People may not like what you like.

You may love chocolates and be happy if someone gave you some as a gift. But to give a box of chocolates to a person who is on a diet is not an appreciated gift.

There is the story of the Boy Scout who firmly takes the arm of an old lady and helps her across the street, only to find that she didn't want to cross the street.

The sales clerk might think a customer would like someone pointing out all the good bargains in the store, when the customer would really just like to be left alone.

Platinum Rule

Applying the Platinum Rule™ is much more valuable and useful to other people. "Do unto others as they would do unto themselves" means you have listened and observed what the other person wants or needs, and you then try to satisfy those needs.

(The "Platinum Rule" expression was coined by Dr. Tony Alessandra and is a trademark of Dr. Alessandra.)

People know what they want or need. If you can determine those desires and satisfy them, you do a much greater service than giving them what you care about. For example, the good salesman always tried to qualify the prospect to see what he or she is looking for.

If you can give a person what he or she really wants or needs, you can be considered a valuable or important source.

In conclusion

Apply the Golden Rule to avoid harming others, but also apply the Platinum Rule to proved them things that they value or that are important to them.


Be good to other people


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